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| Trump on Mt. Rushmore photo source: change.org |
By Jim Heffernan
Someday adding Trump to Rushmore could help boost American agriculture...
I’m not talking about what would happen to the country if
Trump should become president. We should save those ruminations for registered,
bona-fide pundits, so many of whom appear nightly on cable television to
predict the future according to their political persuasion.
No, I’m speculating on what might transpire should a Trump
presidency be deemed successful, even great, by the noisy majority that would
have elected him (without any help from me) and it is decided that the Trump
visage should be added to those of the four presidents already sculpted on
Mount Rushmore.
The idea of putting a fifth revered president on Mount
Rushmore comes up every so often when over-zealous supporters of one
ex-president or another deem it appropriate to propose adding the face of their
man (it’s always been men, unfortunately) to those of George Washington, Thomas
Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt, pince-nez and all. So far
we’ve avoided that embarrassment.
Remember now, I am not suggesting that Trump should ever be
considered for Mount Rushmore, or that he should ever be considered for the
office of president. I am merely speculating on some dreaded future time when,
should he happen to be elected, after he is dead and gone his supporters could push
through a measure to add him to the revered national monument.
Such were the deep thoughts running through my head as I
contemplated these matters and, in a Eureka Vacuum Cleaner moment, I came to
realize that, should it ever happen, the addition of Trump to Rushmore might be
a good idea, as abhorrent as it seems today.
Think green.
If they sculpted his face on the mountain, to accurately
portray him they could plant wheat grass on the top of his head to represent
his hairdo. Wheat grass grows quite tall and is close to the hue (you wouldn’t
say “color”) of Trump’s carefully sculpted mane.
What a terrific symbol of America. Amber waves of grain
beneath the beautiful spacious skies atop the purple majesty of a South Dakota
mountain right on America’s third-most revered work of sculpture.
So, to bring all this together, Trump on Rushmore isn’t such
a dreaded idea after all, should it come about. With wheat grass crowning his
brow, it would be a tribute to American agriculture, and the face below it an enduring
symbol of American folly.
