A Trump Carol for President's Day...

By Jim Heffernan

I know the Christmas holidays are over, but I've got to say I miss them -- especially the carols on the radio.

That's the trouble with the other holidays we celebrate -- no carols. None of them have music directly associated with them except "O Say Can You See" on the Fourth of July. But where is the music for Arbor Day, for Labor Day, or for President's Day, for crying out loud? (Many of us ARE crying out loud on President's Day this year.)

In keeping with that thought, I have composed a new President's Day carol to be sung for the next three years, or maybe, with a little bit of luck, fewer years than that. Everybody knows the tune to the "The Little Drummer Boy." Here are some new President's Day words to the festive carol. You can hum along in your head as you read.

Come and vote for me said he, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

I'll drain the swamp, you'll see, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

We'll build a border wall, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

And bring back jobs for all, T-rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump.

All news is fake, you see, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

Whenever it covers me, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

I won the popular vote election day, T-rump, rump, rump, rump; 

Just ask Kellyanne Conway, T-rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump.

We'll dump Obama care, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

This really is my hair, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

Vlad Putin's quite a guy, T-rump, rump, rump, rump;

And so am I, T-rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump, rump. 

Well now, there's a carol for President's Day at least. Let's see if we can't come up with a few for the other holidays to make spirits bright.